July 4th Jollity

There's nothing more patriotic than poking fun at America

Jul 03, 2026

If you’re anything like me, you’re having difficulty mustering enthusiasm for America’s 250th birthday. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are hard to celebrate when our health, rights, and sanity are under constant attack.

Luckily, there’s a workaround. Freedom of expression, enshrined in the First Amendment (and how funny is it that the Constitution had to be amended shortly after ratification?), guarantees that the government cannot limit our speech, even—or especially—speech that is critical of the government itself.

Thus a delightful paradox was born: To lampoon America is to laud what makes America special.

Arguably the most patriotic thing we can do this semiquincentennial (a perfectly absurd term) is to poke fun at America’s shortcomings, hypocrisies, and delusions.

To neg thy nation is to love thy nation.

So, fellow patriots, please enjoy this parodic pledge of allegiance, this fireworks show of funnies. (If it gets you into the spirit, play John Philip Sousa while scrolling.)

And if you enjoy my Substack, please subscribe to support my work. Thank you!